I am I am not I hate
I suspect I control I believe
I am proud of I want I am afraid
I am afraid of I am sure
I am not I am not like I think
I agree with I
listen to I donít listen to
I am so I know best.
I hate only because you love it.
I control because I used to be one.
I agree with under any circumstances.
I suspect even while Iím asleep.
I am afraid will find me if I fall in the bathtub.
I am afraid wants my power.
I am afraid of crawling into bed with me at night.
I am sure will bring down the value of my house by moving in next door.
I suspect is listening.
I know has put a tracking device in my womb.
I suspect does not have the right to remain silent.
I listen to that I know.
I believe have stolen my future.
I donít listen to that does not have a vagina.
I am afraid never read "The Cross and the Switchblade."
I think is the antichrist weíve been waiting for.
I am sure are actively plotting my death.
I listen to and no one else.
I believe is seventy-six percent heretic, and twenty percent liar, and four percent lunatic.
I love because no one ever told me different.
I am because I never got a choice.
I need more than you do.
I am proud of only when it belongs to someone else.
I need right now.
I want off my White House lawn.
I want kept away from my children.
I want to leave me alone.
*Answer key (choose your order): Academics, adulterers, Americans, an abortion survivor, bi-curious, bipartisan, bicycle pairs, concealed weapons, confidence, emotional, everyone, floundering in life, government, green, identity papers, inexperienced with other races, Jesus, middle-aged people, myself, my country, my cigarette brand, my doctor, my principles, my spouse, no one, not a fact checker, not a feminist, not what I aspired to be, old people, only immigrants from certain countries, people who know about modern art, people with disabilities, people who work for me, pretending I didnít fuck in high school, questions about geography, recycling, racism, representation, saggy borders, side huggers, strangers, self-appointed prohibitionists, the animals we donít eat, the confederate flag, the fact you have hair, the frayed rope pulling in the life preserver, the homeless, the image of two men kissing, the media, the new constitution I wrote while sitting on the toilet, the president, the Rebel Alliance, the supreme court, the terrorists, undertakers, Waco, what I was promised, whatever you said, women with microphones, your candidate, your god, your degree, your experience, your sin, your sex.